Even networking has rules regarding etiquette. And so it should. The idea is to gain more referrals for your business, not scare people away. So whether you’re a novice or an old hand at working the room, here’s some golden rules on what not to do….

1. DON’T… Let Fear Stand In Your Way

Ever heard the saying “Feel the fear and do it anyway”? Have you noticed that when you push yourself out of your comfort zone you feel a huge sense of achievement? You feel like giving yourself a pat on the back for being brave and making the first step. So remember this: No one attending a networking event will want to keep their head down and their mouth shut – they have attended because they want to meet people who can help them and also look to help others. So when you spot someone walking through the door looking nervous, go ahead and approach them. Tell them your name and ask what they do. This is especially important for regular networkers who remain the main culprits of sticking to their cliques. While it’s nice to see a familiar face at an event it’s even nicer to meet someone new that may present you with an opportunity to take your business further.

2. DON’T… Give people the one-liner

People will want to hear about what you do and you’ll be keen to tell them. There are two rules to this. (a) Keep it short – practice your elevator pitch (i.e. meaning that in the time it takes a lift to go up a few levels you should be able to explain what you offer and how people can benefit from doing business with you) and; (b) make it interesting. So rather than simply state “I’m a clothes alterations specialist” tell people what makes you unique, how you want to grow your business and what your goals are: “I offer a clothes alterations service which ranges from taking up a pair of jeans through to bridal and special occasion wear. I set myself apart from other local businesses as I guarantee next-day delivery. I’d like to expand into offering a personal shopper experience so I’m keen to meet fashion retail owners as well as beauty therapists to look at teaming up with them.” Spot the difference? A short and interesting introduction will ensure you get remembered – and if people remember you, you’re halfway there.

3. DON’T… Give people your life story

They’ll always be someone (or perhaps a few!) at networking events that will happily witter on about themselves, only ever stopping to catch their breath. Here’s the rule: If you are going to a networking event your goal is not to sell yourself. Let me explain. Listening is an important skill that many people think they are good at, but in fact aren’t. In the words of H Jackson Brown Jr: “Learn to listen; opportunity sometimes knocks very softly.” Good listening involves not just hearing what is being said, but understanding it and then translating this information into how you can relate to it. So when listening, rather than thinking about how to turn the conversation back to you, show interest in what is being said by asking open-ended questions – the “whats” “whys” and “hows” and give some thought as to how you may be able to help that person (and how they may help you) This indirect way of selling yourself (and your personality) is the key to successful networking. People are naturally drawn to those that take an interest in them and ask plenty of questions. Again, you’ll be remembered and that’s the point. And if you are the unfortunate person that’s caught with someone that drones on, try “Well, there’s probably many other people that you’ll want to speak with and people wanting to meet you, so I’ll let you get on but it’s been lovely meeting you…”

4. DON’T… Judge on first impressions

We’ve all been guilty of this but think back to the times you can recall being pleasantly surprised by someone that you initially regarded as having nothing in common with. So when you meet someone who tells you they are a florist, don’t immediately dismiss them because you’re not looking to buy flowers, ask them how they are looking to grow (no pun intended) and what types of people they’d like to meet. You may be able to help them. Equally, they may know someone who can help you grow your business. Networking is about gaining new referrals and listening to what people have to say is far more important – and more beneficial to you, than judging purely on what people wear and more importantly, what they do.

 5. DON’T… Believe “Tramp” is the new “Vamp”

Research shows that people form an opinion of someone in the first 30 seconds of meeting them, sometimes earlier. So make sure you scrub up well. Here’s the lowdown: Make sure your personal hygiene (and this includes dental hygiene) is spot on. Wear clothes that are clean but that you are comfortable in. If you’re not a suit wearer, don’t wear one. Psychologically-speaking if you look good and smell nice (no cheap scents and don’t overdo it) you’ll feel more confident. So with hair washed, deodorant sprayed and teeth brushed walk in with your head held high and get ready to wow!

6. DON’T… Fail to follow up

If you choose to adopt only one golden rule of networking, let it be the ‘following-up’ rule. This is more important than you think. Imagine you meet someone who has taken a really keen interest in what you offer. Perhaps they’ve commented on talking further about looking at ways of helping each other. A few weeks later and neither of you have made contact. It’s not looking good is it? Since you have personally met the person you’d like to speak with again, there’s no excuse for not following up. The key to making any type of networking work is for you to identify a handful of people that both you can help and that may also help you – then contact them. Even if this is just a quick call (nicer than email) once a month to ask “how’s business?” or “any thing I can help with?” It shows you are genuine. And remember – people are more likely to help those that have helped them. What goes around…

7. DON’T…Expect Instant Results

This really follows on from the ‘failing to follow up’ sin. In short, if you attend a networking event and expect instant results, you’re asking too much. This isn’t to say it doesn’t happen – it does, but very infrequently. In general, getting to know someone and developing a relationship with them is a slow-burn process. The more you engage in conversations and contact the people you meet to find out what’s happening in their business or to ask for advice, the easier it becomes for them to refer someone to you, as you will remain at the forefront of their mind. It’s about identifying contacts and developing credible relationships (that take time) which naturally leads to profitable referral partners.